THE LOWLY NEGRO 

James Smith


“Life is about the journey. Weather the lows, as you weather the highs. You are the sum of your experiences.” – James Smith

 

“The most dangerous creation of any society is the man who has nothing to lose.” – James Baldwin

WITHERING AWAY TO NOTHINGNESS

How many men cut down by expectation

Residue of ambition, a barrage of self-doubt

Resistance surrenders unresponsive for the betterment of transparent clarity

What has man accomplished and who has benefited

In his last breath what would the narcissistic dreamer say; I wish I made better choices, I wish I had another chance

What wishes does this foolhardy man regurgitate

Station as prey: poor, ignorant, young, weak

Existing check to check one sickness away from defeat

Fragmented version of self, withering away to nothingness

 

THE RUNNER

Becoming familiar with denial, trepidation increases the swell

Running on empty at the height of the season

 

AUDACITY OF YOUTH 

Audacity of youth induced to ruins

Disillusionment circumvents false positives

Vile malignant narcissist in turmoil

 

FOG OF WAR

Surrender concedes

Rhetoric transparent

Lies resonate truths

Victims await you

Death collects his due

GOD EATS DOG

God’s alter ego is the Devil 

In God’s likeness, God and Man equal parts good and evil

L(I)KE

Do I like YOU 

At first glimpse reality is escapism 

Stylized theatre on IG 

Transient stages appear, re-appear and disappear 

What remains is the real YOU

 Characterized narcissistic sociopath

 Influencers and celebrities mirroring vanity 

Peripheral: entitled, apathetic, sensitive, selfish 

At your moment of dissension who will favor YOU

 Descending fame and infamy: a younger, hipper, slimmer, prettier YOU

 Your last words: If only I stood for something greater than myself 

If only I 

There is no I in US and YOU never cared about US

 YOU only cared about YOU and I was the solitary

 I in L(I)KE

 I’ll soon forget YOU with one flick of my thumb

 Wasted life squandered with meaningless superficial posts

 L(I)FE lived without passion, conviction and purpose

Do I like YOU

TWO BEASTS

Perched between two beasts  as if we’re old acquaintances

 Never any faces familiar in here

 Can’t stop thinking, I’m trapped

 

 THE BAR IS CLOSING

 Last dance, the bar is closing 

Water's up to her neck, how much longer can she hold on 

Afraid to fall asleep, she doesn't know where she'll wake 

Lived a simple life, listening to Satchmo, sipping on air 

Falling, drifting under lucid spell 

She can't go any further; her will to survive diminishing

One day she'll forgive, wishing it could go back to the way it was

 

OLD MAN

Old man told me today, getting old is the hardest deed he ever had to do

  

THE HARD TRUTHS 

Conditioned by Religion, Politicians, and Madison Avenue 

Disillusioned, old, and forgotten envying the arrogance of youth

Idealists instinctively reach for stars falling short of the mark

Savage and barbarous minus the sum of humanity

Importance of survival a deliberate farce 

Human embodiment and residual of shame

 

THE RABBIT & THE DOWNWARD SPIRAL

 The struggle ‘to be’ is the driving force behind his existence. To aim for the highest attainable star in the universe and at any cost secure the position. His life filled with sadness of truth that exhibits before him in all its fashion. And when he looks back 30 years down the line in all honesty, what will he see? An older rapidly aging version of himself on his birthday that seems to arrive 4 times a year. In his veins the evidence of a life polluted with the strains of decadence and self- medication. Decrepit, neglected and invisible, his reward as he closes his eyes to reminisce about past distinction in a kinder forgiving light. Inflicted with aches and pains pulsating through arteries and veins to the end roads of this man’s life. Who is this demon lurking beneath the realms of senses? Persuading whims and desires to sacrifice all that is good and real for vanity and superficiality.

Or is it? Is he, his own enemy? Could he be the saboteur of his demise? Failure his destiny, his fate, his fault. We are not one of you and you are not one of us.  The man woke, realized he was on the wrong road. Worked hard to make all the right connections and friends. How did he not see the signs? Someone or something must be to blame. Perhaps he went back to sleep after he shut off the alarm.

 

“The Negro has been here in America since 1619...He is not going anywhere else; this country is his home. He wants to do his part to help make this city, state, and nation a better place for everyone regardless of color and race.” – Medgar Evers

  

THE LOWLY NEGRO 

Beware the bearer who provokes envy 

Words become numbers, volumes muted

Consumerism his fetish: the prey, my brethren, the lowly Negro

Eyes toward the ground

 Devil intuitively watches 

Bearer who sets the trap

 Malicious and mischievous coward

 Convinced the World he means no harm

DIXIELAND

Dixieland, I despise you

In exile, trapped in your polluted womb

Surrounded by insolent rednecks, dull-witted and sadistic by nature

Counting the days until I AM FREE

 

NIGGERPHOBIA

 Am I a Nigger

What is the Nigger’s purpose 

Fondling master’s genitals for small change

Vicious cycles that keep the Nigger and I AM segregated 

Living in a constant state of Niggerphobia

 

PORTRAIT OF THE POET AS A BLACK MAN

I’ve been called black, colored, spook, jimmy, coon, eight ball,

jigaboo, jungle bunny, porch money, sambo, shine, tar baby, negro,

spade, darkie, ape, and nigger

NIGGER

A man called me a Nigger who couldn’t pronounce my African name 

Perhaps it was my unflinching gaze, envisioning my ancestors in chains 

Summoning crimes against humanity, rape of African pubescent apparent in my hue

 Engulfed in constant denial and condescending irreverence for greed and contempt 

I am cattle in his portfolio, stolen and sold into slavery by African, European, and American

 Stripped naked of native tongue, culture, family and homeland

 When I am of no further use as a mule of capitalism, they deny me an education and call me ignorant, they deny me work and call me lazy 

They inflict disease, arrest and imprison black youths for fear of a black planet 

They call me boy, rapist, liar, murderer, thief, to conceal their true nature 

Good for nothing, worthless, dull- witted, dimwitted niggers go back to Africa 

To survive the African holocaust we seek shelter in your shadows to elude you 

Cowardly, ignorant and docile servants continue to work in the fields, as you continue to rape the world, sip Mint Juleps and dine on hors d’oeuvres

“I’ve never understood why the end of a relationship – especially one involving children – has to immediately signal a descent into hatred and toxicity.

– John Niven

 

SURVIVAL

Role of consummate victim is her found philosophy

 Psychosis the prognosis of post-traumatic stress disorder 

Unwilling actor in the character study of a woman in rage

 

FALLEN FRUIT

Withering

 No one’s fault but her own

 Damaged

 Wayward journey into my strident company

CHOKING ON HER SLIT

 Awoke, choking on her slit

Knowing I have to settle and submit

 

ANATOMY

Condescending eyes, viral tongue

Inherent fear, passive and deceptive nature

Anatomy burns like a diseased whore

 

INNOCENCE WAS LOST

At thirteen, innocence was lost

Daddy's princess mirrors grown up

Mother turned tricks for rent

At thirteen, innocence was lost

 Violation her weekly allowance

To forget she's only thirteen 

All she ever wanted was love 

Instead she contracts a disease

At thirteen, innocence was lost  

Guilt makes her repeat the sin 

To forget she's only thirteen 

Tormented and humiliated by incest 

At thirteen, innocence was lost

 

 ROT THAT TORMENTS

 Unknowing child’s pleas 

Deafening words tear my fabric 

In silence not to offend

 Mother the rot that torments

 At what cost betrayal of truth 

A woman under the influence 

Bottom feeding survivalist pretending to be harmless 

Far removed from this wretched tribe that pollutes my seed 

Sparing affliction of relation to parasites and their wickedness 

 

SURVIVALIST MANEUVERING IN PLAIN SIGHT

 Infested with the necessity of disappointment

 Delusions lurk in the shadow of forgetfulness

 Nurtured by contempt and misfortune 

Masquerading as a TV mom until real life interrupts the regularly scheduled program

 

“Mistakes are part of being human. Appreciate your mistakes for what they are: precious life lessons that can only be learned the hard way. Unless it’s a fatal mistake, which, at least, others can learn from.” – Al Franken

 

LEGACY

I want to be the father, I never had

 

SCARS

Transactional repentance

 Caducity skewed recollections 

Photo albums distort claims

 I remember everything

  

SENSITIVE SOUL OF MISFORTUNES

 Devoid of trepidations I cannot control

 Plowing mother earth with erratic impetus

 In the name of God and Country, the Horrors

 

ADDICTION

Heightened perception of oneness 

Dosage barely nurtures sickness 

The more I pay, the more I’m granted

Money the bond that seals my fix 

All roads inward lead to despair 

Surviving each day at war with myself

ALLEGIANCE

I pledge allegiance to the flag 

To murder your fathers and sons

 Rape your mothers and daughters

 Steal your land and resources

Spread disease, famine and disorder  

With disdain and injustice for all

 

I’VE BEEN DYING FOR 43 YEARS, 17 HOURS AND 29 MINUTES

Survival’s weary of my suicidal tendencies 

Dying for 43 years, 17 hours and 29 minutes 

Company of evil men manipulating the will of good men 

Uncontrollable savages all knowing of sacrificial lambs

Frequent stream of arrivals and departures protruding like a fish out of water

 

 

THE GREATER NOT THE LESSER 

Descendant of slaves rooted in detestation and exoneration

 Piety of triviality belittles true nature 

Engulfed winds of battle, the greater, not the lesser

 Accomplices in the throw of self-destruction

 Indoctrinated philosophy of survival of the fittest 

Rebirth of a nation divided now empathetic 

Men overflowing with love, not beasts impregnated with rage

DEAR GOD

I have given the Devil the pieces that complete me

Self-medicating inner turmoil with substance abuse

Invisible, running in circles tracking my own shit

Solitary, regardless of sharing it with you

No desire to love and the only touch I need is my own                                                                  I am the illegitimate Son of God and Man

Trapped in the Devil’s womb waiting to inhale

Curtain falls on my nightly charade

No one will care that I am no longer

Lecherous and diabolical actor receiving

praise for staying in character

As THEY pretend to keep the sun out of their eyes

 

UNDER THE GUISE OF DECEIT

 Warred with the Devil

Lifeless, left for dead

Patient, resolute, steadfast

Demon revealed true intent

Under the guise of deceit 

“An illusion of rehearsed lines, walking with our eyes closed, hoping for the best.” – James Smith

 

The LOWLY NEGRO

A Film By Jameson Stokes